Istanbul, From the eyes of a 10yr old + meeting Ness

Saturday 8^th – Sunday 9^th June 2019 (Day 115, 116)

We woke on a uniformly grey-clouded morning although dapples of sunlight reflected off my tea giving me a cheery start for the long depleting day ahead.  After finishing breakfast my first thought was to feed the hungry kittens outside.  In a mere few seconds I had prepared a small but rich bowl of Aryan (the latest Turkish medicinal drink).  They slurped it up like two (very) hungry hounds (or you could say kittens).

The tram halt seemed bustling yet entirely empty.  We would know since we spent so much time there assisting and learning from a young French couple as we both puzzled over the Istanbul Transport Card System.

Finally, having reached our destination, we skipped off the tram and strolled over to a rare scene.  In front of us we were witnessing a chestnut stand behind which was the Hagia Sophia; easy peelers with excellent texture.  Somehow a tour guide persuaded us, odd since we are such locals, to drag him and a few fun facts around the Hagia Sophia for an extra 200TL – oh well he must have mistaken us for a tourist family.  He also got the language wrong (English) since we would obviously have been much more comfortable speaking Turkish instead.  Tour guides aside the Hagia Sophia was the most spectacular, inspiring, internally gilded, prodigious, breathtaking, (I could go on like this all day), arresting, stunning, fabulous etc. etc. building that I have ever embraced in any sense.  Bearing in mind that I have seen the Duomo, The Burj Khalifi, One World Trade Centre, The Colosseum of Rome, Angkor Wat, The Leaning Tower, The Eiffel Tower, The Pompidou Centre and probably a couple more that I’ve forgotten.

‘One word one word, (that’s all we got) one word one word, (it’s all we got) one word, one word’ (The black eyed peas, they say love but I say…)

Awe! 

 

The rest of the day was spent on BIGBUS Istanbul (a major hop-on hop-off brand also branched in London) tour, on which we only visited three sites, not including the Hagia Sophia/Sultanahmet Square (lazy pigs as we are):

Naval museum,

W hotel,

Taksim Square,

Listened to an exceedingly cheerful audio,

And crossed continents. Twice2!!

Out of:

1. Sultanahmet Square (between Blue Mosque and Hagia Sophia).

2. Eminonu-Galata Bridge.

3. Tophane (nearby Istanbul Modern).

4. Port (outside Main Cruise Terminal Gate).

5. Dolmabahçe Palace.

6. Naval Museum.

7. Beylerbeyi Palace.

8. W hotel.

9. Taksim Square.

10. Shishane - Istanbul Modern (outside British Consulate).

11. Egyptian Spice Bazaar.

The full tour itinerary is two hours.

I wrote a fictional story situated in the spice Bazaar:

My (Bazaar) adventure

This is my tale.  I will explain in every detail the way I discovered Their coming and ensured Their going, not only from Istanbul but hopefully from the entire world.  It happened at the Istanbul Egyptian Spice Bazaar.

‘Twas a grey morning the train 765B screeched into Eminou station for the eight millionth time in its existence.  A feelingless puff of wind rustled my hair the moment I stepped outside.  All that could be heard were distant empty footsteps and the faint Islam call to prayer echoing uniformly.  I tried to walk cheerily among the solemn crowds, most likely influenced by the weather or the gloomy atmosphere.  ‘And I think to myself, what a wonderful world…’Who knows, perhaps Louis Armstrong once visited the spice bazaar and was inspired.

As I entered a wave of every scent, smell, vibe, taste imaginable smacked my eyes open like a good 8am coffee.  From rose and jasmine tea to Iranian saffron bundles, from Spanish saffron pots to exceedingly hot chilli flakes , even crushed turnip candles which you will later learn the tremendous importance of.  All herbs, spices and teas that one could dream for were on sale. 

In under two hours I had finished my shopping session. I was just on my way out when I saw an apparently dozing shop owner being dragged by a blur of glass or air or some other odd material!?  My decision after frightful and shellshocked hesitation was to cautiously investigate.  I came closer.  Closer.  Closer still, puzzled that not one other soul seemed intrigues or startled.  I stopped and stared just within earshot of the scene.  A mumble in a language strange to me seemed to project from this disconcertingly suspicious blur and air, thick or thin, it appeared air nevertheless.  Then the man began to dissolve and hover in the atoms.  It was clear now to me that he was stone dead, not one strand of life left in him.  As he gradually dematerialised what appeared to be a reformation of him began to take shape out of the blur.

I knew it had seen me when the half corpse fell.  The incomplete replacement body turned with a jerk with where its eyes should have been, facing me.   I froze and grabbed out at the first weapon I could find, a turnip candle (as you may have remembered my earlier mention).  The blur began to multiply exponentially and just their loaded absent stare made my spine twitch and my heart skip beats.  I hurled my candle with no aim at all and a mere few seconds in succession I heard the howl of some strange creature probably one of the blurs at the point of death followed by a series of others.  That is all I remember before darkness fell like a blood stained velvet shroud all around me.  The sweet spicy smells and tastes faded.  I could tell though I do not know how for my senses seemed utterly blinded that I was the centre of attention and everyone was staring at me, gazing mercifully like maternal hounds feeling sorry for a dying puppy.

Here is a song that I composed about modern phone obsession (inspired by Willie Nelson’s ‘On the road again’)

On your fone again,

u just cant wate to get on your fone again,

yo ey there jonny whatsup caroline,

u just cant wate to get on your fone again.

on your fone again,

fingurs twichin to pres that buton send,

takin selfys u may never take again,

u just cant wate to get on your fone again.

On your fone again,

cant mis won mesage ‘bing’ meens u gotta look riyt then,

u just surrender cus u nowe u cant resist

so for your own sake, don’t check the fone again.

Bling bling, bling bling…

Oh, hang on, sorry that one’s for me!

(I purposely used what I call 'text english spelling')

 

9^th June.

Previously I had never seen the phrase ‘eat breakfast like a king, lunch like a prince, and dinner like a lord’ personified until now.

We banqueted, with Nesslihan (one of my old classmates) and her mother Hilal, like sultans that morning; our table loaded with all the imaginable items one could dream for. Gorgonzola-like stretched cheese, tender watermelon salad, passionately handcrafted pancakes; all particularly palatable.

Though we had thankfully already exersised sufficiently so remained with the same wieght.

After this we skipped into their huge, impressive LAND ROVER and drove away with Hilal (a bold driver to say the least) at the wheel.

My first memory of an adventure park was peering, aggravated, from my pram at a long LEGOland queue. A plastic brick of irritation slowly grew in my mind, the reception desk seeming miles ahead; infinitely unreachable and expensive.

However, at Mef University Adventure Park this was far from true. Not only had my age vastly shifted since my stiff stressed experience at Legoland but also this ‘mythical line’ was non-existent (and we got a discount).

One and a half hours of fun followed.

Nes had been very many times before but I, not so we began with the blue trail as a gentle

introduction. I must say that the blue route wasn’t the best adventure trail that I have ever experienced, however, the next one was close enough. It wouldn’t be accurate to describe the black trail as intense or dexterous but it would be fair to say that it was grotesquely enjoyable and challenging merely by the skin of one’s teeth (a little easy for my liking but all in all good). Next was the 180m-zip wire. It wasn’t particularly astonishing compared to Europe’s longest one in Wales, all part of the occasion though. We both relaxed more on the red route, played truth or dare, talked and she even got so lazy that I had to physically drag her along before I could persuade her to stop talking and start walking.
We clambered like spiders.
And that was that. An ice cream at 1882 café ended our day with Nes’ family on a sweet touch.

But of course the there had to be some sort of competitive twist.

For anyone who hasn’t been to Mef University Adventure Park, it’s very similar to GoApe. For anyone who hasn’t been to GoApe, I’ve got one thing to say to you: you’ve failed in life, just Google it.                                                                                                                                                                        

P.S. Sorry if I spelt your name wrong Nes – my Turkish isn’t quite up to scratch.

Today’s mystery photograph is: